How A Random Reading Changed My Perspective on Dating
These past few months we’ve had some pretty dope good vibes and chill events. From finding a therapist, to finding your inner guru, to learning how to track your cycle. I’m still shocked at how seamlessly they come together and how supportive you guys have been about the entire wellness series.
Can’t even believe I’m about to write a post about dating. Like WHAT? Who am I raiii now?
I’d never thought a dating event would be part of the series yet here we are. Back in March, I attended the We All Grow Summit in LA and really enjoyed the additional date added to the conference which consisted of Wellness Day. Cuban-American author and intuitive dating coach Nikki Novo was there and I was excited to see her again. I met her a few years ago at another conference and had been following her on social media ever since.
Nikki had a table with crystals to make your own necklace and I picked out a beautiful heart shaped crystal to add to a gold chain. She was taking sign-ups for 15-minute sessions and I thought she was just going to tell us about the crystal we chose and its meaning. Little did I know she was actually doing mini readings because she is intuitive.
When I sat down with her I thought instantly that we would be discussing my business because I was full on I’M ALL ABOUT MY HUSTLE & BUSINESS mode. Then she hit me with the “We are actually going to talk about your love life” and I was shooketh because well… I did not have one and was not interested in even entertaining the idea of one at the moment.
We discussed a lot of things. Those 15 minutes were golden and impacted me in a way I did not see coming. Our conversation completely shifted the way I saw dating and love. Here’s a brief highlight of some of the eye-opening things that Nikki shared:
Stop judging your friends who want to be in relationships. There is NOTHING wrong with wanting to be in a relationship. (Ohhh the shade of it all. She started off with this and read me for filth - HAHA)
Being in a relationship doesn’t make you less feminist.
Relationships help you grow. There is certain growth that comes from all type of relationships especially intimate ones. Think back to your last relationships and how much you personally grew whether they worked out or not. Relationships are needed for growth! We as humans are not meant to be alone. You will only grow to a certain extent that way.
You can’t keep avoiding dating. You have to put yourself out there. You can keep using the fact that you’re busy as an excuse but eventually there is going to come a point where you feel stagnant in your career and other areas of your life and you will wonder why.
Being in a relationship will not take away from your passions or your career, it will only enhance your life because you will grow and evolve so much personally. You will become a better version of you because of it.
I was definitely not ready for this reading Nikki gave me. She dragged me in the best way possible and I literally had nothing to say after. I mean what do you say after THAT?
After sitting with this for a while, I finally decided to start dating in May and put myself out there. Is it SCARY AF? Yes. I am very comfortable in my life at the moment so why the hell would I put myself out there so that someone can come and cause havoc on the life I worked so hard to create? Then again, why is this my first thought and not the beautiful things opening myself up in this way could bring my life? I have no idea but it’s definitely something that I’ve been actively working on these past few months. I haven’t dated since my last relationship in 2015 (well I kinda did last year and that was a mess so it doesn’t count) and you think it would be easier since you’re wiser, but personally it’s been bringing up a lot of things that have been dormant for a while aka EMOTIONS. It’s annoying because it’s really hard for me to express myself and be vulnerable (I know crazy right) so it feels like its soooo much work. Like what do you mean I have to put effort in? Shouldn’t this just magically happen? You guys probably think I sound crazy, but I’m actually super private and very protective of my thoughts and vulnerability. I have like a gazillion layers and tend to show different ones to different people so the thought of having to reveal more layers than what I’m normally used to is scary. In the short amount of time that I’ve been actively dating though I can truly say I’ve learned so much about myself in the best way possible. It’s all so wild.
Anyway, after that experience with Nikki, I instantly thought that it would be super cool to do an event with her in the future about dating because I know I can’t be the only one going through it. Of course the universe worked it’s magic and in August Nikki contacted me let me know that she just finished writing her latest dating book “The Final Swipe” and that she would be in NYC for a book tour. She reached out because she saw what I was doing with Good Vibes and Chill and wanted to do an event together while she was here. Of course I laughed because I couldn’t believe how these events manifest and happen to be a mirror of my life and here we are!
If you’re in NYC and you haven’t bought your ticket to Nikki’s and I’s event what are you waiting for? We have limited spots as you guys know the magic of these Good Vibes and Chill events are based on how intimate they are. Your ticket includes lunch, a workbook, and an inspirational message from Nikki.
If you are not in NYC and would like to be part of this event I actually decided to live stream it. I know how important this workshop is going to be for so many of you so I wanted to make sure everyone had access to the workshop. Click here for more details on the event and purchase your tickets below!
THIS EVENT ALREADY HAPPENED, BUT IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN WATCHING THE REPLY PURCHASE THE ONLINE TICKET.
Dating/Inspirational Card from Nikki
Q+A with Ada and Nikki
I’m so excited to see you all online and offline this weekend. I know this event is going to resonate with so many of you! As far as my dating journey goes, I’m committed to the process while actively remaining unattached to the outcome because like the amazing Laura shared with me last week, there’s no way I can fuck this up. In my world, everyone that comes into my life serves a purpose and has a role. There is a lesson in every experience therefore I can’t really mess this up because everything is going to unfold exactly as it should. I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. I I’ve grown as much as I can on my own these past few years and even though its scary AF I’m ready for a different type of growth.
Photography by Denisse Benitez @chasingdenisse